I am NOT a middle school teacher.

If I’ve learned one thing from the first quarter of school, it’s that the good Lord did NOT intend for me to be a middle school teacher.

This is the first quarter that I’ve taught incoming freshmen and every day is an excruciating exercise in patience. I feel like every day for 1 ½ hours I stand in front of the class and my mouth makes the Charlie Brown teacher “wah wah wah wah wah wah wah” sound, while the veins in my forehead pound out an ominous pulsating rhythm. A sharp juxtaposition of The Comical verses The Maniacal.

At least three times a day I have to take a deep breath and repeat this mantra: They’re still elementary students. They’re still elementary students. They’re still elementary students. I said it before, and I’ll say it again: If they wore shoes to class, I’d be tying them. If they used Kleenex, I’d be wiping their noses.

It’s clear to me, from only two weeks of observation, that middle school was a brilliant idea. Leaving early teens in the elementary school environment for too long is NOT good for them. They’re still used to teachers coddling them and “inadvertently” giving away answers and standing over their desks to help them through each problem and tucking their worksheets into their homework folder for them and then giving them an extra day to work on it if they forgot their homework folder at school. GAHHHH! It makes me want to scream!!!

Yes, middle school was a marvelous invention. And my conclusion is that OTHER people should teach there. Clearly, it should not be me.

When I take a couple steps back, I know it’s the American in me who is aggravated by this. I’m used to seeing pre-teens wearing mini-skirts, drinking out of Starbucks travel mugs and talking on cell phones at the mall like they’re 25. We expect them to grow up fast and shoulder a lot of personal responsibility. On the flip side, we also tend to steal childhood from our children. So you would think I might be able to see the beauty in a classroom full of 14-year-olds that aren’t acting like they’re entitled to a smart phone, a fashionista’s seasonal wardrobe, and a family life the revolves around their social schedule. But I’m having trouble focusing on that part. Instead, I see dependence, disorganization, unpreparedness due to laziness, and unpreparedness due to lack of foresight.

But I know that if I’m going to survive the remainder of the semester, I have to figure out a way to embrace them in the stage they’re in, and not keep comparing them to the stage I wish they were in. They have plenty of time to realize their potential for independence and organization and time management and prudence. For today, they should be kids. And they deserve a teacher that allows them that much.

God bless the middle school teachers out there—in the U.S. and elsewhere. I’m going to do my best to channel your patience, perseverance and resilience because this is not MY forte.

Middle school teachers, I tip my hat to you.